Agreed about these events being a business, and I guess having a profitable ethnic Chinese ONLY event isn't always possible, being that London Chinese aren't used to attending events that are inclusive of white black or brown, but take a look at this http: Guessing because its such a big event, there's only 3 showings, but im guessing profitable because Bristol-based Neehao have been advertising these events for some time now.
Again, run by both ethnic Chinese males and females I think , less chance of people feeling out of place, unless you are black white or brown, which makes a nice change.
Chinese Speed Dating
Happybritishchinese, it seems these venues are geared towards men. The comments seem to be from men. I wonder what will happen if the advertisement is more geared to attract Chinese women run by men, will it be different. Sounds more like networking opportunities to me.
Topping up on the latest gossip and an opportunity to show off about one's salary with fellow BBCs. Speed dating is a fad, just borrowed from city living folks that feel it's a fun night out. Similar to salsa dance classes. It cannot be taken seriously, hence the variety of ethnic backgrounds hanging around. Are those hanger-ons of BBCs who secretly hope they can also pick up something there?? If you lookin for lurvve, these are the wrong places to go, if your looking for a one night stand then these are..
It would not surprise me if some of the female clientele consists of part time escorts rinsing naive inexperienced city boys, or nasty Justin lee, Edison Chen bad boys with the money or good looks, after the thrill of the hunt. I said hunt, phrew no Freudian slip there lol. SF agreed about the Fad and showing off about salary talk. Also from those same two events, few non-Chinese females. Yes its a 'fun night out' but to say it cannot be taken seriously would undermine the scam that this woman, Sutmeng Cheung is running.
Constantly advertising her speed-DATING' business as opposed to eating, or walking this is almost as bad as the Daily Mail cranking out its clockwork sinophobia, except this Sinophobia, unsuspecting Chinese males have to pay for. Anonymous27 October Happybritishchinese, I have to be honest, I have never researched it myself, so cannot answer that. Well, that's what my parents seem to do.
SF In the past, there were opportunities given by my parents, but for whatever reason didn't work out and now in general i'm pretty self reliant, when it comes to dating. Unfortunately dont have that strong sense tradition in my own family, unlike yourself and BBCz, who i call 'privileged' BBC's, because , at least in the dating area, gives you an additional option, right?
Do you know anyone whose Chinese parents arranging the dating, eg has it worked out for them? Assuming it worked out better than these mainstream events like 'Chinese speed-dating'? Happybritishchinese, as mentioned before, I'm not really in touch with other BBCs much, but tend to hear things from my parents when I visit them.
Another one met a Malaysian Chinese whilst studying medicine at University. Parents do play a big part because I always hear about parents fussing over who their children should match. The ones that have been matched are still in their relationships. But, I can't say that is a barometre of success since it's not enough to show an outcome.
I have no idea whether these mainstream events work though, but I doubt it, because it plays more on the dare-devil nature which might create friendship rather than a relationship. Chinese parents are careful to pair according to ranking. So, if your daughter is a pharmacist, then she could be matched with a professional. If she is not academic, then they'll match more manual skilled individuals. It can be quite limiting, but I guess, it's all about assuming compatitability. For someone that don't have their parents in this country and is hoping to make this country her home, I find it hard to meet possible dateable Chinese guys so these events provide a service for those that don't have the connections in this country.
And no, there are no single Chinese guys at work. And yes, I do mingle at other meet ups and other events with Chinese people. And yes, I have been to a speed dating event and have met a Chinese guy and been with the guy for 11 months but parental pressure not mine broke us up.
Parental match making is good and well if you like the person they are matching you to. But if you don't and you like someone that you've found on your own then depending on the parents, they can make your life miserable. Anonymous2 November Does your own country repel you so much that you are willing to uproot and leave friends, family, culture, way of life behind?
Are you willing to be mocked, stereotyped, denigrated and generally seen as not belonging here, regardless of what you see yourself as? During uni I've come across quite a few Chinese people who were genuinely shocked by racism directed towards them a couple of girls cried when some chavs came up to them and asked them to love them "long time" - whilst making blowjob gestures And why do you think it is not reported or discussed more openly but accepted?
I choose to come to the UK and live not because my country repels me but more of an experience. This way of life is no different from the way of life in 'My Country'. But it does allow me to travel and get to know new people. I still got teased when I was little for being different. I blame that on me being the only Chinese in my school and it being a small town, you get the small town mentality.
But no, in general I find this country quite nice. I've only had one racist remark towards me and that was from a year old in Feltham. I am currently doing market research for a dating website aimed at matching British born chinese together. From all the posts on this article, it looks like other people might think this to be a viable idea. The purpose of these groups and functions is to foster and nurture a community with a strong common identity. We see it in other groups all the time here, America and other parts of the world where there is a disapora.
This includes white immigrants in non-white countries e. Dubai, Far East, Spain. This is especially important in minority groups, as failing to do so will result in fragmentation and assimilation into the wider community, as we have seen with the BBC population here. It is different for the white majority, because they are the majority. Now compare that with other groups - asians, blacks and whites This trickles down to everything, even the census forms asking us for our identity. Still no British Chinese.
Many have said that none of this is relevant, indeed they take the stance of their forefathers and fmothers' views - as long as they work hard and prosper economically, living the good life, then it should be fine. As a result, this breeds contempt within the majority and other minorities - "look at them Chinese, taking our money and resources and not spending it in OUR community" A strong, distinct British Chinese community with common bonds that stems back generations and not one that lasts for 2 generations before being assimilated , that looks out and stands up for one another, and has good effective representation in social, political as well as economical areas, is the only way the British Chinese can have a bright future.
Unless of course your definition is for British Chinese to be mean White British with a drop of Chinese blood somewhere in the past, which is entirely plausible the way things are going I can imagine our future descendants go "yeah, my great great grandmother was Chinese, I try to forget that though, I'm mostly white now! Let's reverse this toxic mindset that has plagued so many of us.
I guess alot of BBCs don't have your brains nor the depth of analysis, you can't blame BBcs being like their parents they bought them up and instil in them their survivalist behind the wok or tiger mother values, so its all about making money and being apolitical. Before slating of BBCs look at the people making the money, if they are, their priority aint reversing the alleged toxic mindset but to use their resources for their business advantage, its selfish capitialism, if for example a hapas theatre gp was to get their way, would they share it with BBCs or expand the debate beyond Zhao's dog?
Agreed its both inward looking FOB parents lack of wanting to create solid community which creates the geographic dispersal that us BBCs grow up in, as well as the media those mixed race marriages who want to have Eurasian children,most will grow up to be like Madam Miaow and take advantage of racist media opportunities to become British Chinese community 'spokespeople'.
Anonymous28 October There is absolutely NO reason why those financially better off, in business etc. Indeed if you look at the world in general, including Britain, it is business figures who go into politics, express their views etc You could say they go hand in hand, business and politics. Which is why when I see Chinese communities and people all over the world, not just in Britain, doing well economically and having worked their way up through hard times - as you said, having a "survivalist mentality" - they have not reaped the rewards and gone into or influenced politics, which naturally comes from having such a mindset.
To expand on Anon 28's point If you notice what with the spread of white brands and companies around the world, they have taken with them their culture and - wherever possible - spread THEIR "style" of things to foreign shores. Make money AND spread culture is probably their motto. Like I said, there is no reason why you cannot make money and influence others. Maybe the Chinese, especially immigrants, need to realise this Whereas whites do the opposite in the far east e. To put it more simply, it s keeping it in the "family" the politics is irrevelant, there are only essentially 2 types of politics, change or no change, if you are a successful business person in the current situation it makes business sense to sustain the status quo, the "chinese" will oppress other or take advantage of other chinese, usually due to upper class dominance.
Without getting too deep speed dating, who actually benefits? Business and politics go hand in hand and I totally agree with the points made. If you look at the big property groups like Great Eagle Group and how long they've been trading along with their international property profile, it's quite disappointing how they are hardly making a dent or changing world politics.
David Tang his politics are upper class capitialist exclusivity, he won't hold the torch for BBCs from the working classes, unless it promotes his sharkfin restaurants and silk clothing range, this why there is no chinese community it s partly due to class difference. Most of the chinese who come to the UK are desparate poor folk, not privilege cigar smoking poseurs. Chinese FOB businessmen in the UK are all about self interest looking to impress their white elitist colleagues.
There is no 'looking out for Chinese' its every man for himself. And as at the top of the pyramid, so it goes for everyone down below. FOB community then morphs into a mass of individualist self-interest which doesnt do anything for BBCs who want to create some kind of group think tank because we have no rolemodels and can only look to ourselves, and then with everything being held on white standards, without looking to start our own from scratch its all got to be picture perfect before we can agree on anything, which of course delays any genuine attempts to arrange meetups of any kind.
The speed dating event in someways is symbolic of British Chinese aspirational identity, in that we cannot arrange anything for ourselves without having to have someone black white or brown involved to create interest. HBC any luck at the casinos? About role models, unconsciously our role models like it or not, are our well-spoken oxbridge educated parents, hence "we" become like our parents, the fact they wish to leave the far east, already sets in motion the defragmentation of their extended family, culture and identity.
That's my golden nugget of wisdom for tonight and so to bed Like grandfather, like father, like son but with better IT skills and shaves I agree that class divide means that many BBCs from average New Territories background will not quite relate to the likes of David Tangs of this world. But then again, what country is not really expeeriencing similar situations? Many of east Asian politicians have had an education here in Britain. That means, they too have come from an already previleged background from their parents, then to end up at a good university to finally go into politics that normally do not represent the average people of their countries.
My point is, people like David Tang or Dickson Poon could be more political with their names already firmly in the mainstream press, but they prefer to shy away from that, therefore denying Chinese people of a voice let alone opinion.
Oriental speed dating uk
The word on the street is Chinese people have no opinion, do not concern themselves with politics, and keep their heads firmly down making money for themselves. I have asked my parents why they have ended up here. My father was sent here by his mother. She was fed up with my father moping about after getting involved with a married woman, and in order to avoid shame, sent him over here to her brother's restaurant to work.
During this time, she arrange marriage for him, and it's no big secret with my mother. She only married my father because she was told he had business in Britain. So you could say she was white worshipping already. My father had a very difficult relationship with his mother and made sure he did not go back.
Whether any of this is the truth, only my parents know. All I do know is this. My grand parents had family living here already, and they were the ones which were the original settlers here, and I wish I could ask them that question, because like you said, it's a question that all BBCs should ask. Think for those BBCs who have big families the effect of whiteworshipping isnt felt as much, I think like Anonymous28 October For me, not much to say, dont have a huge family and whiteworshipping has run all the way through, is what it is, same time I respect them, love them, like all families have their own issues and problems, but music I listen to, food I eat, socialising , are all directed by my new inner compass.
Sometimes Im my old self, sometimes my new self like Im trapped in ancient China in the body like that film Highlander and sort out my own life and deal with my own awkward personality as well as the usual responsibities Anonymous5 November Big C is one of the few public places I can unwind, and feel 'at ease' alone or whatever, apart from odd bit of grocery shopping.
And re rolemodels my parents are shit rolemodels. My gran is probably the closest I get to a rolemodel. I am my own rolemodel. Guess thats the way it is for most BBCs if not mistaken, unless anyones got a different take on this. Or was it at an all Chinese event? How successful was it for that person compared to say these more mainstream 'Speed -dating' events?
Also, directly related to the Speed-dating article, how do these Chinese males feel, when our own women whoops mustn't sound too 'possessive' there are being blatantly courted by black white indian brown males? Don't know about you lot, but it would fuck me off no end. And yes, I know dating is in the name of self interest ie if you pull who gives a shit about anyone else- but if Chinese-pride isnt that strong enough to have an all Chinese event, then that can only mean that as can be seen from the reviews, where one of the guys are half-joking about 'bromance' at the end of the night-that for some of these cockteasing Chinese females, the 'standards'for a date, at these events are reserved for non-Chinese ie black white brown, then im sorry but that to me is the BIGGEST degrading insult to Chinese males who are conned into these events.
Sutmung Cheung, and the other owner of chinesespeeddating. Same with Muslim men who pour acid on Muslim women's faces for "disgracing" their family. White men who beat up and kill white women for sleeping outside their race. Indian men who went on riots and burnt effigies of white men when Richard Gere gave Shilpa Shetty a well known Indian actress a kiss in a press event.
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Oriental women think we are racist when voicing our views here. Because they know the men will do fuck all to retaliate. Are you in essence blaming oriental men for being too laid back?
And the reason oriental women seem to do what they please? Just going back to the white people. I find that untrue. It is in fact the media that create tolerance or intolerance. Due to the decades of anti racism measures and the big push for equality in all categories, English women still do what they please because mainstream society tells them they have that choice, despite a few meatheats wanting to vent their frustrations and anger at 'their' women being taken. I think it is the media that plays a strong role in promoting oriental women with caucasion men. Parents and the community might try to stem this, but there is nothing more powerful than media manipulation and how the film and advertising industries work hand in hand to create this so-called accepted harmonious relationship where oriental women look natural with caucasion partners.
Bruce Lee his wife who was Anglo-German, they seem to be "fine" so the bio-pic depicts, but the HK media depicted her as a gweipor, his bruv is totally Hk dreadful singer srry. SF Do you think that racially assumed ownership of women is sexist? Surely the reason why Blacks Indians and whites have been so protective of 'their'women is why there is not as much interracial between their women as say, Chinese women. The media does play a strong role, but the way you are putting it makes out that Oriental women cant seem to think for themselves and would choose an ethnic Chinese male over a non ethnic Chinese male because they are trained to think that way.
For me I just see the media taking advantage of the whiteworshipping seeds that were planted long ago in insecure East Asian females. If any East Asian women felt ashamed about IR you wouldve thought they wouldve have campaigned against it, or the brave few spoke out against it but if anything, they actually perpetuate the media propagatation and 'go with the flow' as covered by multiple articles on this blog. Happybritishchinese, I don't think it's sexist.
To be honest, I see that as some kind of natural instinct. Sadly, I do think media plays a huge role in shaping us, especially when discussing BBCs. For FOBs, it's very different. Those that 'choose' to go with white men might be making a very conscious step in making themselve part of being an economic migrant. It's possibly a career step which helps them speed up the ladder into white previlege society. Whatever it is, FOB women are putting white men on a pedastal and therefore seeing them as more a cash-cow than as possibly attractive.
Whereas what I've seen around me, BBCs tend to end up with caucasians because they are surrounded by them rather than Chinese men. I agree with SF's statement "BBCs tend to end up with caucasians because they are surrounded by them rather than Chinese men" because it's true.
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It's not because foreign born Chinese can't just use British Born here or even foreign raised Chinese worships whites, it's because it's what they are used to and what they are most comfortable with. Whiteworshipping may be considered 'normal', but that doesnt mean you cannot question it. If a chinese females only meet and socialise with "whites" then chances are, their partner s will be. I have meet some BBc girls who don't date BBC guys and i think its something to do with being too close to home, and something they don't want to be to be associated with, like crude Hakka manners.
Concerning my non-chinese relationships, even as a friend only couple, there is often a sense of unease from the stares of surprise or disgust? I am bit cynical of these dos, it gives women their 15min bit of self esteem, that they still have it, by their cockteasing clowning and guys willingly playing the fool. But it doesn't take away my understanding and acceptance of others that have found love with other ethnicities. I have also seen a couple that is black and a chinese. Maybe they are a minority but it makes no difference, they are still the same as a chinese and a white.
They are still human. Anonymous6 November Also do you think there are any economical factors involved? Knowing how there is a disproportionate number between females and males in China more males , that more Chinese female are being allowed to study in the UK than male students, does this create proportionately more interracial romances, between educated Chinese females that return to China, and possibly creating a preference for dating non-Chinese when arriving back home, lessening the chance of your 'average' Chinese male ever finding a Chinese wife?
I wouldn't know what they think because their way of thinking is different from mine. Saying that, it really depends on the female student. I also have a friend back when I was at uni who was a foreign student from China and she met her current husband at uni, but he was part Chinese so I don't know whether that counts. There might be economical factors involved especially if they are gold digging materialistic cows. But who am I to say? Also white men does not automatically mean he is a sure bet financially. There are bums in all races and ethnicities. My ex is earning less than me at this point in time in his career.
Doesn't bother me much. I don't understand why the Chinese guy would have to earn more than the white guy. Also it depends on the white guy doesn't it? I mean I'm sure some earn less than 20k per year and I'm sure there are Chinese guys that earn more than that and there are some that earn less. It is possible that it would happen that way. But there are also those Chinese guys that have emigrated that go back to China to find a wife.
One of my cousins did this and I believe a family friend also did this so really the males in China are going to lose out anyway.
Also it's not normally the 'average' Chinese guys that lose out, it's the lower end of the scale guys that lose out because they are either still in villages or cannot support a wife and a family. I find it hard to meet a compatible Chinese male. The ones that I meet become friends and I don't ever go there since it's like pissing in your own pool.
The ex didn't have the same time line as me as I do want kids before I am 38 and his parents don't like me because of that as it would ruin his career. My parents are not in this country to introduce me to friends of friends and yes I have meet some that they have introduced me to and no I wasn't interested because there's a certain awkwardness and they are a million k's away.
So yes I will give my money away and go to these Speed dating events in hope of finding a Chinese guy that has the same time line as me and meet my criteria. Happybritishchinese, you made this comment: My family are very strict and traditional, and quite the opposite.
In fact, we will be made to feel terrible should we enter into a relationship with any other race other than East Asian.
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By that, I mean, they'll accept Taiwanese, Malaysians, Vietnamese that speak Cantonese and Singaporians within the group. I can't speak for others, but can clearly see that some FOB parents may have experienced some very big struggles in their youth, which often limits their choices, and at any given chance, will allow whatever their child wishes in this generation. Is it a symptom? Maybe we have to wait for another generation to see.
But then again, as stated here, the next so-called BBC generation will soon be disappearing. Also good luck with finding the one who fits the criteria, things tend to happen when you aren't looking so Ive been told, but im probably the last person you'd want to listen to for relationship advice haha SF Nice to know you also come from a traditional background, Im jealous, can only imagine what that's like, lets hope BBC generation will keep going or renew itself in other ways in addition to ethnic Chinese or East Asian. Maybe Anonymous6 November Be good to also to hear what others guys have to say?
Another classic example, abt chinese luis not dating bbc guys, some are so proud and think they too pretty and better than guys that come from TAs. They don't want their potential in-laws or future kids to be trapped in a greasy kitchen. Guys don't wanna get coupled with a NT simpleton that says yes to everything either.
I don't think its no coincidence that rolypollies fall for me bigtime, don't wanna gave TMI ;. Anonymous7 November Nothing wrong with that but it doesn't mean that I am still in the kitchen unless I'm helping out my parents. It also doesn't mean that my kids will also be in the kitchen unless they choose to be. I personally am not ashamed of it and whenever I go home, I would still help out in the kitchen to relieve my parents as they are getting old. I am also not a NT simpleton that says yes to everything but nor am I a materialistic person.
But yes I would like to find someone that has the same social rank and level of attractiveness as well as someone that is accepting of all classes of people. Takes me back to uni and I hate writing essays.
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If anything, I find that most Chinese women brought up here will subscribe to the idea of judging someone by their personality rather than their wallet and social standing. I don't think BBC women would judge you based on your New Territory background, however their parents might. I find that parents are quite closed minded on where other BBCs are from and dare I say obsessed with pairing according to ranking.
But those born here are less likely to be snobby in that way. Perhaps the attitude tend to come from those that repel with anything to do with Chinese? I have met these girls. They are often interested in finding men they feel they should be entitled to. This kind of thinking usually comes out through being ashamed at their very own backgrounds. I don't know about others, we seem to be proud of our background. The so-called "lahn dut dut" a Hakka expression look is often a source of jokes when we see flip flop wearers with bed-hair and toothpick hanging from lips.
In a strange way, it's who we are or should I say were. So don't forget to address him as Sir when you ask him how many cigars he has shoved up his recently. Isn't this the standard opening line that is said at these kind of Speed-dating events by cock-teasing females? And wouldn't either of you go for a tall handsome Cantonese-speaking Eurasian 50k a year high earner if it really came down to it? Like Anonymous7 November And SF not to border on moronic BBC territory but more devils advocate with a bit of BBC moronic territory , if you had to choose between a unkept bed hair toothpicking Hakka FOB at a speed-dating event wearing flipflops,and say, a suited and booted Daniel Wu BBC male lookalike, which would you choose?
About the greasy kitchen, and this is a generalisation, it is not necessarily the place itself, but the lingering conversational culture and sad memories, parents from TA can't see things beyond the wok handle, thats all where the referencing comes from, it's their whole world view, it s either tragic or ignorant bliss. We have a number of venues in Central London that are on standby for such an event everything is in place for our first Chinese Speed Dating event.
go This is so we can balance the number of male and female participants. Our events begin at 7. Our host will shortly signal the end of the first date. At this point guys move on to the next girl and the next date begins. The event works like this until everyone has met each other. Speed Dating can be quite thirsty work! Afterwards you might like to stay on and chat to the other daters. Most people do and it's a good way to get to know everyone a little better.
The beauty of Speed Dating London lies in its no-nonsense approach. You take an equal number of single girls and guys, put them in a room and give them a few minutes to chat with every other member of the opposite sex. Original speed dating events in London normally begin at 7. You will need to register with our hosts and to begin with they will issue you with a score sheet. This will help you to keep track of the singles that you would like to meet again and perhaps go on a date with.
After a short period of mingling, your host for the evening who will run through detailed instructions and give you your starting position if you are a guy or table for the event if you are girl. A London speed dating event is split into two halves, each lasting around an hour, there will be an interval at half time of about 15 minutes. You will have between 4 and 5 minutes with each person, after which you need to tick a box on your score sheet - "yes, I would like to meet this person again" or "no. Thanks but no thanks". Or "friend" if you'd like to get to know them platonically.
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