Dealing with dating rejection


1 It’s Normal To Feel Hurt

You'll not find out why you've been consigned to the 'No' pile, but it will be painfully obvious that you're not even worth chatting to. For users of swipe-and-chat platforms like Tinder, having a screen between you and your rejection offers little comfort. W e've all reacted badly. He can't say that!

Dealing with Dating’s Constant Rejection – P.S. I Love You

As a freelance journalist, it's a scenario I experience on a daily basis. Around 12 pitches get rejected for every one article that gets the go-ahead. Do I have the thick skin to deal with this constant rebuttal?

In the past, I've been guilty of consciously avoiding situations where I might get rejected, both professionally and personally. The last time a man turned me down I retorted word-for-word, and I'm not proud of this: I'm working on a being comfortable with making myself vulnerable and b dealing with the inevitable occasional rejection in a dignified manner.

As Dr Adam explained resilience is learnable, but it takes practise. S o here are my top tips for when you're turned-down , passed-up or brushed-off:. T o get over an old one, get straight on top of a new one. Distracting yourself is more dignified than begging for another chance to show them what they're turning down, believe me. Just because you've been rejected by one person doesn't mean that everyone else will too. Remind yourself about all the awesome things you have to offer and try to exemplify those qualities. Non-romantic friendships can be just as rewarding as romantic relationships, so show those reliable friends who stuck around how grateful you are that they did.

It's a surprisingly effective boost.

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It sounds weird, but thinking back to a time when I rejected a guy helps me deal with being rejected myself. Recalling my thought process — my reasons for rejecting others — stops me taking it too personally.

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I remind myself that usually I don't turn someone down because he's gross and awful and no one will ever love him, but because of something pretty banal and non-threatening, like the timing not being right. It helps me maintain perspective, and reminds me that rejection is just a natural process; not something that needs to knock my confidence to the floor.

V enture capitalists turn down a tonne of start-ups before they choose to invest, which means entrepreneurs learn to move on from hearing the word 'no'. Soldiering on in the face of rejection is the only alternative — whether you're searching for investment or love. Rejection has been found to be one of the biggest contributors to anger and aggression, especially in adolescence.

2 Focus On Your Loved Ones

This feeling of not belonging can cause bouts of violence to unsuspecting others. Clinical studies have been carried out that assessed the intelligence of people after being asked to relive a particularly painful memory.

How To Deal With Rejection

An automatic reaction to rejection is to question yourself, take the pain and force it inwards, which results in your self-esteem and ultimately your confidence taking a knock. Rejection fuels deeper thinking and can push you further down the scale of depression. If you are new to online dating, being aware of rejection will help you in the process. That will help you deal with any potential conflicts you might have in the future and here are some points that will help:. You have been rejected by one person, but look at the people who have accepted you.

Rarely are rejections personal, especially in dating.


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The main factors come down to individual wants, rather than needs. Did their lifestyle suit yours? Aspects of their personal life that you have reservations about? More often than not a rejection is actually best for both people, so be happy you got away. Rejected by one person? A nice tip a psychologist passed to me was this.

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