Dating and relationships in china


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Therefore, if the family does not like a suitor, he will struggle in courting the woman.

Chinese Dating Culture: The Old and New | TrulyChinese Blog

He must make a good first impression on the family, and continue to gain their trust and respect by always showing respect to all members of the woman's family. Sex before marriage is still frowned upon in Chinese culture. It is a free choice between the couple how far they wish to go, but pregnancy out of wedlock is seen as a disgrace to the whole family.


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Some families may actually disown a child who become pregnant or fathers a child outside of wedlock. In fact, in China, it is illegal to actually give birth to an illegitimate child, meaning that the law requires an unmarried pregnant woman to have an abortion.

Co-habitation is also frowned upon, as it shows a lack of sexual restraint. Chinese women expect men to take the initiative in courtship, as they are socialized to be submissive in relationships.

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17 Chinese Dating Etiquette – Rules – Customs – Relationship

It is also expected that a man should be faithful, even at the "just dating" stage. Promiscuity is considered immoral. Chinese dating has many stages. At the beginning, there should be "friendly" dates in public places with friends; at this point there should not be any displays of affection. Couples in the second stage of dating may go out together without friends, but only very discreetly.

This stage could last years, depending upon the woman and her wishes.

Chinese Dating Rules

China is relatively new to the whole modern-stable-globalized-internet still working on that last one, really country thing, and when your culture is over 4, years in the making, old habits die hard. Consider, too, the generational issue at play here: That's because her grandparents' and possibly depending on where in China she is from her parents still value marital stability above all else in their time, given the instability and volatility of their eras. In fact, I once dated a girl who would only meet up at places that her parents AND grandmother had pre-approved; as you can imagine none of these places were very fun.

What this often leads to is heavy parental involvement in relationships and dating. This particular cultural difference, is, in my experience, a big reason so many intercultural relationships fail; I know one girl I met texted me five times before lunch the next day — a serious no-no for me but standard procedure for her. The man is generally supposed to handle all the decision making in Chinese dating, and some girls take this very seriously.

Once I asked a girl what she wanted to do for the date and she just never responded! Anyway, all of this means that in China itself, if you're dating someone seriously, marriage is at least on the table.


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As a result, being intimate before marriage is a lot less common in China than in the West, though this is not so much the case anymore among younger, more urbanized Chinese. For men, things overall are not as strict: In some cases, there are parents who promised their children to a certain family that has a connection to them. There are certain occasions where an unmarried individual could choose who they like without the pressure from their parents or the government.


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One is the annual mid-spring meeting that is held on the third day of lunar March and another is the Lantern Festival. Much has changed on the concept of dating in China.

Traditional Culture

Technology also played a huge part in this change for anyone could meet anyone anywhere in the world. Even though dating in China in this day and age is easier compared to ancient times, but a year-old dating culture is hard to brush off. Though in more westernized cities like Shanghai and Beijing, you can expect that some youngsters are into casual dating but most people still go for traditional Chinese dating.

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